It has always been hard for me to get involved in church. In junior high and high school I jumped around from group to group, pretty much mindlessly following friends where-ever they were off to for youth group and church. This church inconsistency followed me to college at Corban University. I called it “church-shopping,” but what it really was was me neglecting to get involved and refusing to be known. When I moved to Corvallis and started at Oregon State University, I found a group near the apartment I was living in at the time and I started attending. I became somewhat involved, but I pretty much came late and left early. I still refused to be known. Not long after, I left the college group. I felt wronged somehow and refused to go back. I stayed out of the group for summer and fall, but that January, I felt God leading me to return. I saw a posting on facebook about their winter retreat coming up, so I packed my bags and I went.
Going on the retreat and starting to get involved was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Being a part of 2fortytwo changed my life. I met some of my closest friends through the group who walked both the joy filled roads and the dark ones with me. It became more like a family then a group of college students. I am thankful for the group, the growth, and the light that 2fortytwo has brought into my life.
For a while now, I have been attending Grace City Church. In May, I decided to go on the women’s retreat. I think I mostly went because the retreat was at Canby Grove, where I used to work as summer staff in 2010. But despite my reasons for going, I went. I barely knew anyone, but I am so glad I went. After going, I dove into getting more involved in Grace City. I would go to church and people would say hello to me. People noticed if they didn’t see me on Sundays. This was a new phenomenon to me. I couldn’t just hide in the back of church anymore. And I LOVED it. I absolutely loved it.
All summer long I battled between 2fortytwo and Grace City Church. I prayed and prayed and prayed about what to do. I felt the tension of the pull like trying to decide between chewing hard candy or continuing to suck til it dissolves sweetly in your mouth. Finally, I felt peace with my answer.
I decided to stop attending 2fortytwo. The decision was tough for me. I have loved the group and I still love many many people who attend there. My battle was with trying to be known and growing in 2 different places. I felt it was hurting my spiritual walk and growth to try to juggle the two groups. Sometimes God calls us to step away from something, even something we love. I felt God’s voice telling me to do that. So I stepped back from 2fortytwo. I committed to get more involved in Grace City and I have done that. I have felt such peace with the decision and have already been blessed tremendously by it. I am known by the Grace City community. I have growing relationships with other believers and I feel like I belong there. I am passionate about growth and involvement at Grace City. This church is amazing and I feel so blessed to be a part of it.
I’m going to toot my own horn for a moment. I am proud of myself! When I first became a Christian, I was afraid to be known. I was afraid for someone to notice me. Now, I am attending one church, where people know me and care about me. But the best part, I get to know and care about other people, too! God moves big in our lives when we listen to his voice. I am walking, talking, moving proof of that truth.
Joyfully Remade 